SERVICES | Enhancing Family Harmony
Families can be thought of as “living organisms.” New families are created through marriage, and then they grow and change through a succession of their own developmental stages. If one or another of the adults who is directing the life of the family fails to understand and to adapt to his or her changing role and changing mission as family life unfolds, then all members of the family will experience a rise in tension and dissension.
According to the recent literature in family psychology, here are the chronological and evolving stages of family life. Under each is listed the critical transformations that must be achieved by the adults in order to make possible the needed growth and development of all members of the family:
- Leaving home and making a proper entry into single life
Developing adult to adult relationships with parents
Assuming emotional responsibility for the self
Assuming financial responsibility for the self
Developing sustaining peer relations
- Commitment to the beginnings of the family - making a sound marriage
Forming marital alliances properly
Realigning relations with extended families and prior friends to make ample room for the new spouse
- Welcoming children into the family
Adjusting marital understandings and responsibilities to make space for and to care properly for the child or children without losing the goodness of the marital bond
Joining in mutual planning of child rearing, household tasks, and the generation of income in a way that makes good use of both parents’ talents and feels equitable to each
Creating sustaining family rituals and learning how to enhance the enjoyment of their beauty
Realignment of relationships with extended families to honor the shift to parenthood and to incorporate the older generation’s entry into grandparenting roles
- Acknowledging children’s arrival into adolescence
Shifting of parent-child roles towards greater empowerment of the child, greater flexibility, and permission for the child to move in and out of the family more freely
Finding time and creativity for parents to refocus on midlife marital and career issues
Beginning a possible shift to roles as caretakers by parents for their parents
- Launching children and moving on
Renegotiation of marital understandings, roles, responsibilities, and intimacies
Development of adult to adult relationships with emancipated children
Realignment of extended family relationships to embrace the potential to add on in-laws and embrace oncoming new roles as grandparents
Maintaining one’s own functioning and interests and the vitality of the marital bond in the face of physiological decline
Exploring the meaning of aging and social role options for the final decades
Giving emotional support and encouragement to one’s children as they move to positions of influence and opportunity on the center stage of life
Watching over the final days of the parents of the parents
Dealing with the possible losses of spouse, siblings, and other peers
Preparation for one’s own death; life review and integration
IF YOU SEE YOURSELF OR YOUR MATE STRUGGLING WITH ONE OR MORE OF THESE ISSUES, INDIVIDUAL COUNSELING, COUPLES COUNSELING, OR FAMILY COUNSELING, AS NEEDED, CAN BE OF HELP. In the supportive, understanding, and information-rich family counseling relationship, you can be taught practical skills for rising to and overcoming the family transition challenges that now may appear to be so daunting. When necessary, one’s spouse, the grandparents, and/or children can also be made part of the learning plan so that all members of the family can be heard and find ways to have their needs met. Please consider using one of the links provided below...
