SERVICES | Counseling Couples in Distress
Marriage rates have been falling steadily over the past century while rates of divorce have been rising. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Advances in economic possibilities for women have freed most women from financial dependence upon men. The life span has lengthened markedly, making it harder for unions that in the beginning might have represented a good blending of two lives to remain vital and fulfilling over decades of personal self-transformation. Social attitudes about divorce have also softened some. So it is no longer necessary for couples to live in great anguish for many years or even decades if they cannot create sustaining goodness between them. Yet confronting the possible ending of the prime relationship in our lives is never easy. Separation and divorce represent a major life stressor, particularly when children are also involved. If your marriage is in great pain, the first question that must be asked is whether or not repair of the distress is possible or whether a separation may be in the offing. Fortunately, marital unhappiness often need not signal a process of terminal decay, for even the best of life partnerships can fall into a time of restless distress if the relationship comes to be characterized by:
- Lack of suitable conflict resolution skills
- Inadequate agreement on how and by whom various decisions are to be made
- Poor communication styles
- Unrecognized or unresolved conflicts about the management of precious resources (time, attention, affection, and finances)
- Incompatibility of life goals
- Subordination of the welfare of the partnership to other commitments (work, children, leisure time obsessions, or the demands of families of origin)
- Failure to acknowledge the welfare and aspirations of one’s mate
- Inequities in the assignment or assumption of responsibilities
- Failure to know how to heal in the aftermath of infidelity
IF YOU SEE YOURSELF IN THIS DESCRIPTION, COUPLES COUNSELING CAN BE OF HELP. Ending a domestic partnership is such a difficult decision, one fraught with potential guilt and anxiety. Often the pain in the relationship can be successfully addressed. Repair can frequently be achieved. Even when growing alienation is only a precursor to eventual separation, a period of counseling can still help by preparing the two people involved - and any children - for the inevitable ending. In the supportive, understanding, and compassionate counseling relationship, you and your mate can be taught practical skills for addressing the nature and sources of your partnership distress, distress that now threatens to separate the two of you permanently. Please consider using one of the links provided below...
